We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
