a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
