apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
