You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think your dad took our porno
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
