I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize