You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
being pregnant is like rehab
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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