We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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