That's intense
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
