I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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