I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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