i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
