Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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