Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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