Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
