last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
