Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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