I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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