a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You dont lie about slip and slides
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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