Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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