Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
