guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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