Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
