I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
