So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
