its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Still dying that you shit outside
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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