Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
