Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
