Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
