Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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