First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
