And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize