Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I have aggressive nipples.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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