He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
When did angry sex become our thing?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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