How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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