On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
