If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
