...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
