the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
