Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
