Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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