just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
