..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
