I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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