Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
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I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
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We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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