Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
