Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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