Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
