The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i need some magic done to my vagina
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
