After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
