Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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