a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Randomize
