erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
