her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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