awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
As shirtless as possible
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize