508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
