drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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