THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize