Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
