I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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