there's paper in my vomit.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize