I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
