He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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