did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
