Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize