Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
