we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize