he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
