Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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