I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize